Not Just Another Mother's Day Entry

There is so much to say to my mum, really. First of all, I must say how awfully dreadful I feel to not be home on Mother's Day this year. I constantly make an effort to be home on Mother's Day, even if it's just for the weekend. But this year, being involved with even more commitments, I can't make the trip home this weekend, although I will try to make it home later this month. It's tough, really. I have to pick days that do not clash with theatre rehearsals or my regular law classes.

This Mother's Day, I sent mum a card. I recall how I used to make her cards for Mother's Day and her birthday every year, and how she's put them in this drawer. I made her a "trophy" once; she still has it in her room.

An Ode to Mummy

Dear Mummy,

I tried to put down into words how I felt for you, but I honestly can't. This is because words truly can't describe what you've done for me in my life, but because words are all I have, I shall try.

This Mother's Day, I want to say THANK YOU, mum for all these and more:

For bringing me into this world and not regretting the decision,

For loving me unconditionally despite my weaknesses,

For rushing me to the hospital at age 5 because I climbed the shelf and fell and had to get stitches on my eyebrow, and then crying because you felt the pain for me while I was bearing through it all with a fake grin,

For threatening to leave me at cemetaries whenever I misbehaved and added up to my amusing childhood memories,

For laughing at me for falling into the bush the first time I tried to ride the bike, and then nursing my wounds,

For patiently understanding why I preferred climbing trees and skipping around and playing with sand than playing with dolls,

For sending me to school every morning from Standard 1 to Form 6, and for losing your patience every time I woke up late,

For teaching me discipline as a child; by caning me when I was being disrespectful, and hugging me right after,

For accepting my long letters to you after every argument we had,

For respecting my decision to focus on the many things I did back in school instead of forcing me to merely study,

For being my walking dictionary when I was a child, and now turning to me for literary "advice",

For instilling my love towards the arts,

For playing the organ with me when I was a child, and for singing together,

For teaching me how to sing "Unchained Melody" at age 7,

For stopping my attempt on ending my life at age 19 and teaching me the value of appreciating life again,

For understanding that I was really depressed, and not self-pitying myself when I was 19, and for sending me to the psychiatrist and for telling me that there is no shame in it,

For checking my arms for scars in fear that I was harming myself again,

For forgiving me for troubling you at age 18 when I wanted to switch schools for Form 6 and then deciding not to,

For always encouraging me to go for my dreams even when they seem so far away,

For sending me to organ classes since I was 6,

For bringing me along to your rhythmic gymnastics trainings and allowing me to skip along,

For paying for my ballet fees which came up to an exorbitant amount,

For forgiving me when I decided to quit learning the organ and ballet and for warning me that I may regret someday,

For telling me inspirational stories about others to inspire me to go for my dreams, such as the "60-year-old lawyer" or the "singing lawyer",

For not once blaming me when I made horrible mistakes like trusting people too easily and as a result losing the car,

For giving me permission to do anything and everything I loved as long as I "didn't get into trouble with the ISA",

For always telling me that you want nothing more than to see me happy,

For encouraging me to study law as a second degree even though many parents would have thought that one degree would have been sufficient,

For buying me unconventional gifts parents would normally not give their children, like the Flip Flap I have in my room,

For honing my English skills, without you I wouldn't be able to speak a word of English because no one else spoke the language with me,

For instilling my love in reading,

For comforting me with kind words whenever I called and was feeling down,

For begging me not to cry when I tell you of all my regrets and how I should have listened to you,

For constantly reminding me that I am still young and it's never too late to reach for my dreams even though you have every right of saying "I told you so",

For never once doubting my capabilities,

For always believing in me,

For teaching me the value of being a WOMAN,

For being my mother, my teacher, my role model, and my best friend.

For you, eternally my Mummy, I love you.

No one could ever ask for a better mother.



P/s: I know you may never get to read this ever (because you are rarely online and you never read blogs!), but I wish you knew how much I truly care for you, and I wish every day of your life will be filled with sunshine, and I hope to fill your days with pride someday. I hope to make you proud.